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My Child Wants to Quit Piano

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MY CHILD WANTS TO QUIT PIANO

So now that you’ve paid hundreds if not thousands for piano lessons, your child walks in one day and says, “I hate piano, Mom. Can I quit?” What do you do?

There could be many reasons for this:

Your child may simply be overloaded with activities. I don’t know a child today who isn’t too busy.

Your child may have given piano an honest try, but maybe it’s not for them.

The lesson may be scheduled at a time that is inconvenient for the child, or for you.

Traveling to and from the lesson may prove stressful.

But there’s another more obvious reason why piano lessons may not be panning out: the teacher.

Have you sat in on a lesson or two, as some parents occasionally do? I myself as a piano teacher work only in people’s homes, so I am quite used to parent’s eyes over my shoulder. And frankly it doesn’t worry me because I get so absorbed in teaching the child and having fun with them that I really don’t notice a parent’s presence.

But the child and the teacher may feel differently. The child will tend to be a little tense, since they will want very much to please you, the parent, if you are present. Your presence is in general disruptive and counter-productive for the child unless your visits are very occasional. This is not true in all cases and depends entirely on the age and personality of the child, and the relationship between the teacher and child.

The teacher’s feelings about your presence is another case. Even if you know nothing about piano, music and lessons, you can make simple observations that will help you to determine why your child is uncomfortable.

Before we discuss these observations, the following should be said of piano teachers in general so that we run no risk of “teacher-bashing.” We’re really rooting for both sides here, the student and the teacher.

In the teacher’s defense,

Piano is a difficult instrument, like all instruments, to play well. To gain a cursory knowledge is not hard, but to master it in any sense is a lot of hard work. We can assume the teacher is well trained and a professional, and knows and appreciates the beauty of the piano and music in general.

Teaching a child the piano from the beginning is a very tedious process for the teacher in many ways: they are going over and over what are for them the most painfully basic of concepts. It’s hard to do this unless you truly love kids.

Simply dealing with kids can be difficult, unless you know how to do it. Add to this the task of learning a noble, complex musical instrument, and you have a hard job.

Having said that in defense of the teachers, here are observations you can make in the piano lesson to see why your child is unhappy:

Is the child comfortable? Discount your presence and try to assess the child’s emotional state during the lesson. Tense? Intense? Happy? Petulant? It may be just that particular day’s mood, but you have to try to find out the child’s feelings about the lesson process itself.

What is the teacher’s manner? Is the teacher cold, bubbly, slow, old, young? Do they listen to the child, or is the lesson in essence a lecture?

How much interaction is there between the student and teacher?

How does the teacher handle repetition? Piano requires repetition as all musical instruments do, but a clever teacher disguises the repetition in the beginning. If the teacher goes over and over the same piece or section, it may be too much for the child. Children require variety and persistence in equal measure, and to simply repeat a portion of a piece until it pleases the teacher may terribly frustrate the child. A teacher has to be creative in the art of repetition.

How much variety is there? Does the teacher do the same sort of activity again and again, or is there some sense of variety? Many children have a very short attention span, and those few moments may be all the teacher has to introduce or refine a concept during a 30 minute lesson. There needs to be a variety of activities. Just reading music and honing those particular skills will exhaust the average child quickly. Many piano teachers do not know this.

If it seems the teacher is impatient and gruff in any way at all with the child, then the teacher may be well intentioned, but they are not suited to teaching children the piano. Children are extremely sensitive in the one-on-one atmosphere of piano lessons, and the teacher must find a way of correcting the child without humiliating them or hurting their feelings.

If it seems the teacher is kind, patient, warm and experienced with kids, then it may be that the child is indeed not happy with the lessons. There’s no reason for a child to be unhappy with a sympathetic teacher.

So look for those two questions: is the child at ease in the lesson, and is the teacher patient and kind? If the answer to either question is no, you should consider changing piano teachers, or simply stopping for a while or trying another instrument.

It never pays for kids to take music lessons if they are not happy with them at least to some small degree. They don’t have to love it, but if they hate it, it’s a sign something is wrong.

Better to wait and try again later than to turn them off forever. And you run the risk of that if you force them to take piano lessons.

By John Aschenbrenner Copyright 2008 Walden Pond Press All Rights Reserved

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ARTICLES ABOUT CHILDREN AND PIANO
Click here for the FREE EBOOK, a good place to start.
Click here to read the NEWSLETTER ARCHIVES, including lots of valuable information from teachers and parents from various sources.
Click here to read ARTICLES FROM NEWSWEEK and other periodicals regarding children and piano study.
Click here to read an INTERVIEW with the author of PIANO IS EASY.
Click here to read the essay, HOW CAN I HELP MY CHILD READ MUSIC?
Click here to read the entire tutorial HOW TO TEACH YOUR CHILD TO READ MUSIC
Click here to read the report WHAT IS A GOOD AGE TO START PIANO LESSONS?
Click here to read the essay PIANO LESSONS: A CHILD'S POINT OF VIEW
Click here to read the essay WHEN IS LEARNING FINGERING NECESSARY?
Click here to read the article A CHILD'S BILL OF RIGHTS FOR PIANO LESSONS
Click here to read the article IS PRESCHOOL A GOOD AGE TO START PIANO?
Click here to read the article BRAINS, CHILDREN AND PIANO
Click here to read the article WHY THE PIANO IS THE BEST CHILD'S MUSICAL INSTRUMENT

ARTICLES ABOUT PRESCHOOL CHILDREN AND PIANO
Click here to read the article TEACHING PRESCHOOL CHILDREN PIANO
Click here to read the article PRESCHOOL PIANO ACTIVITIES

ARTICLES ABOUT CHILDREN AND READING MUSIC
Click here to read the article HOW TO HELP KIDS FIND MIDDLE C
Click here to read the article WHAT KIDS REALLY UNDERSTAND ABOUT SHEET MUSIC
Click here to read the article WHY DELAY READING MUSIC
Click here to read the article AN EFFECTIVE STRATEGY FOR KIDS LEARNING TO READ MUSIC

SPECIAL EDUCATION AND PIANO
Click here to read the article AMAZING MUSICAL ABILITIES OF AUTISTIC AND ADHD CHILDREN
Click here to read the article HYPERACTIVE KIDS AND PIANO
Click here to read the article PIANO BY NUMBER FOR A SEVERELY DISABLED GIRL
Click here to read the article DOWN'S SYNDROME AND PIANO BY NUMBER

ARTICLES ABOUT CHILDREN AND PRACTICING
Click here to read the article WHY NAGGING YOUR CHILD TO PRACTICE WON'T WORK
Click here to read the article RULES FOR PIANO PRACTICE
Click here to read the article DON'T CALL IT PRACTICE, CALL IT PLAY
Click here to read the article SETTING UP A CHILD'S PIANO PRACTICE REGIME
Click here to read the article WHY CHILDREN SUCCEED AT THE PIANO

ARTICLES ABOUT CHILDREN AND PIANO BY NUMBER
Click here to read the essay THE PIANO WHISPERER
Click here to read the article STARTING TO PLAY PIANO BY NUMBER
Click here to read the report USE PIANO BY NUMBER WITH SCHOOL CHILDREN
Click here to read the article BUILDING A CHILD'S CONFIDENCE WITH NUMBERS
Click here to read the article TURN YOUR PIANO INTO A TOY

ARTICLES ABOUT ADULTS AND PIANO
Click here to read the introduction to EASY CLASSICAL PIANO BY NUMBER
Click here to read the introduction to TEACH YOURSELF PIANO, an excellent guide to important self-teaching points.
Click here to read the article RULES FOR PIANO PRACTICE
Click here to read the article TIPS FOR ADULT PIANISTS
Click here to read the article PIANO FINGER STRENGTH IS CUMULATIVE
Click here to read the article THE PIANO ZONE
Click here to read the article MAKING EVERY MINUTE OF ADULT PIANO PRACTICE COUNT

ARTICLES ABOUT THE PIANO
Click here to read the article HOW GOOD ARE TOY PIANOS?
Click here to read the article ORIGINS OF THE BLACK PIANO KEYS
Click here to read the article HOW TO BUY AN INEXPENSIVE PIANO OR KEYBOARD
Click here to read the essay WHY GRAND PIANOS ARE BETTER THAN UPRIGHTS
Click here to read the essay PIANO WARS: EVOLUTION OF THE PIANO IN AMERICA
Click here to read the essay THE GREAT PIANO CRAZE OF 1910
Click here to read the essay THE BALLET OF THE PIANO HANDS
Click here to read the essay A PIANIST'S MEANS OF EXPRESSION
Click here to read the report HUMIDITY AND YOUR PIANO

ARTICLES ABOUT PIANO TEACHING
Click here to read the article HOW TO FIND A GOOD PIANO TEACHER
Click here to read the article SO YOU WANT TO BE A PIANO TEACHER
Click here to read the article MY CHILD WANTS TO QUIT PIANO
Click here to read the article WHY KIDS NEED FREEDOM TO LEARN PIANO
Click here to read the article PSYCHOLOGY OF HOMESCHOOL PIANO
Click here to read the article THE PIANIST WITH TWO BRAINS
Click here to read the article YOU CAN ONLY ENJOY PIANO MY WAY
Click here to read the article TEN WAYS TO BE A BAD CHILDREN'S PIANO TEACHER
Click here to read the article KIDS SONGS FOR PIANO
Click here to read the article TEACH YOUR CHILDREN PIANO
Click here to read the article ARE KIDS PIANO RECITALS HARMFUL?

ARTICLES ABOUT PIANO LESSONS
Click here to read the article DISGUISING REPETITION IN KID'S PIANO LESSONS
Click here to read the article PIANO LESSONS FOR CHILDREN: HOME OR TRAVEL
Click here to read the article PIANO METHOD BOOKS FOR CHILDREN
Click here to read the article GUITAR OR PIANO: WHAT'S BEST FOR A SIX YEAR OLD?
Click here to read the article TEACHING GUIDE DOGS IS JUST LIKE TEACHING KIDS PIANO
Click here to read the article HOW COME MY KID HATES PIANO?
Click here to read the article USING FAMILIAR SONGS IN CHILDREN'S PIANO LESSONS
Click here to read the article HOW KID'S COMPUTER TIME AFFECTS PIANO LESSONS
Click here to read the article PIANO SOFTWARE OR PRINT BOOKS: WHICH IS BETTER
Click here to read the article FOLLOW THE CHILD'S PACE WITH PIANO LESSONS
Click here to read the article TOYS YOU SHOULD BRING TO A CHILD'S PIANO LESSON
Click here to read the article THE TRANSPARENT PIANO LESSON STRATEGY
Click here to read the article WHAT KIDS LIKE ABOUT PIANO LESSONS
Click here to read the article WHY CHILDREN FAIL AT PIANO LESSONS
Click here to read the article ATTENTION SPAN, CHILDREN AND PIANO
Click here to read the article PIANO FOR KIDS
Click here to read the article CHILDREN'S HIDDEN PIANO TALENT
Click here to read the article SELECTING CHILDREN'S SONGS FOR PIANO
Click here to read the article KIDS MUSIC AND THE PIANO
Click here to read the article CHILDREN'S PIANO POSTURE
Click here to read the article SHOULD PARENTS FORCE CHILDREN TO TAKE PIANO LESSONS?

ARTICLES ABOUT PIANO STICKERS
Click here to read the article WHY PIANO NUMBER STICKERS WORK FOR CHILDREN
Click here to read the article WHY PIANO STICKERS WORK FOR READING MUSIC

ARTICLES ABOUT PIANO GAMES
Click here to see the game QUARTERS: A PIANO GAME KIDS LOVE
Click here to see the piano game FUN PIANO GAME WITH A PAIR OF DICE
Click here to see the piano game MOZART'S FAVORITE MOVIE
Click here to see the essay BASEBALL, KIDS AND PIANO
Click here to read about PIANO CHORD GAMES FOR KIDS
Click here to read about VISUAL PIANO GAMES
Click here to read about THE FUTURE EFFECT OF KIDS PIANO GAMES

MUSIC HISTORY AND HUMOR
Click here to read the article PIANO LESSONS WITH PAPA BACH
Click here to read the article PIANO LESSONS WITH FREDERIC CHOPIN
Click here to read the story HECTOR BERLIOZ AND THE TRAIN WRECK
Click here to read the story TCHAIKOVSKY'S GREATEST FAN
Click here to read the story STRAVINSKY'S GOOD LUCK
Click here to read the article CHOPIN'S SINGING TONE
Click here to read the article MUSICAL FEUDS
Click here to read the article MUSICAL GENIUS
Click here to read the story FRANZ SCHUBERT: THE FIRST BOHEMIAN
Click here to read the story BEETHOVEN'S RAGE OVER A LOST PENNY
Click here to read the story MOZART'S LAST DAYS
Click here to read THE STORY OF HUGO WOLF
Click here to read the story THE WORLD'S LARGEST BLUE DANUBE WALTZ
Click here to read the story BEETHOVEN WAS NO BEAUTY
Click here to read the story VLADIMIR HOROWITZ GOES TO THE RACETRACK
Click here to read the story EINSTEIN'S GYPSY VIOLIN
Click here to read the story IGOR STRAVINSKY LOSES HIS COOL
Click here to read the story ARTUR RUBINSTEIN WAS A VAMPIRE
Click here to read the story EINSTEIN'S PIANO
Click here to read the essay WHY BRAHMS MUST HAVE BEEN FAT
Click here to read the article PIANO HANDS
Click here to read the article THE MASTER'S HANDS
Click here to see the article TAKE YOUR KIDS TO THE OPERA
Click here to see the article GEORGE SAND KILLED CHOPIN
Click here to see the article I MEET AARON COPLAND
Click here to see the story CARL TAUSIG COOKS HIS CAT

CULTURAL CRITICISM
Click here to read the op-ed opinion column WHY AMERICA IS LOSING THE CULTURE RACE
Click here to read the op-ed opinion column WHAT KILLED THE GOLDEN AGE OF PIANO
Click here to read the op-ed opinion column AGAINST FILM MUSIC
Click here to read the op-ed opinion column CARNEGIE HALL STARTS IN YOUR LIVING ROOM

CHORDS AND MUSIC THEORY TUTORIALS
Click here to read the tutorial ROOT POSITION CHORDS
Click here to read the tutorial FIRST INVERSION CHORDS
Click here to read the tutorial SECOND INVERSION CHORDS
Click here to read the tutorial THE SIX BASIC CHORDS FOR CHILDREN
Click here to read the tutorial TWO NOTE CHORDS FOR KIDS
Click here to read about PIANO CHORD GAMES FOR KIDS
Click here to read the article WHY CHILDREN SHOULD LEARN ABOUT PIANO CHORDS

Piano Is Easy and the Piano by Number series are written by John Aschenbrenner, a noted children's music educator, Emmy Award winning composer, and Broadway veteran.

Click here to view his distinguished academic background.

John is actively involved every day in inspiring children to take a happy interest in the piano using Piano by Number and simple piano games. You can, too!

TOPICS OF INTEREST TO PARENTS:

"What is a good age to start piano lessons?"

"What are the benefits of playing piano for my child?"

"How can I help my child read sheet music at the piano?"

Piano Lessons: A Child's Point of View

Visit the WALDEN POND PRESS ARCHIVES and read articles about children and piano

Click here to read the entire tutorial HOW TO TEACH YOUR CHILD TO READ MUSIC

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PIANO IS EASY BOOK PACKAGE INCLUDES:

PIANO IS EASY (ISBN # 0-9718936-1-6) Sturdily bound, durable, colorful 107 page illustrated song book with 44 songs such as Jingle Bells and London Bridge, Play Along Audio CD and removable numbered stickers.

Every book package order of PIANO IS EASY includes a copy of I CAN READ MUSIC. This fun, easy-to-understand music activity book is the best way to start children reading music. Click here for sample pages.

Every book package order of PIANO IS EASY includes a FREE copy of the 56 minute DVD video from TEACH YOURSELF PIANO. This video will have you playing chords (three piano keys played with the left hand) and fun, familiar songs with both hands right away. That's a $16.95 value free!

2 BOOKS, PLAY ALONG AUDIO CD and DVD

Click here for a list of songs. Click here for sample pages.

PIANO IS EASY BOOK PACKAGE $39.95

You can also purchase individual books with CD $24.95

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